Monthly Archives: November 2017

Toxic Masculinity, the Real Scoop on What it’s Like to be a Man in it, and Related Thoughts

Let me start by laying my cards out and saying why I’m writing this. I was assigned male at birth. I was raised a feminist boy in the late 60s, early 70s. I have a strong and assertive mother. I have a minor in Women’s Studies, I’m trans, and non binary (since I was 19). I’ve held to feminist principles all my life and plan to continue. I have a strong partnership with a woman. I make strong friendships mostly with women. I don’t expect cookies or sex or even affection for anything I do in the name of feminism. I do feminism because it’s the right call and the way to the future. I’m writing this because I was talking with my partner about it this morning, and it occurred to me that I haven’t seen anyone write about this yet, especially not men, because there’s a wall of silence around it, still, even amid all the accusations and firings, so I’ll talk about it and see if it gets any traction.

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2017 Thanks Taking

Let me start with a statement about “Thanksgiving”. We’re supposed to give thanks for all that we have. That’s great, but it elides the genocides, massacres, and wars that US settlers had with the natives of North America before taking possession. It elides the biological warfare. It elides centuries of neglect, abuse, and outright murder that settlers perpetrated against Native Americans, as well as the ongoing social and political programs to disenfranchise and further steal for natives and native families. This is why, for more than 20 years, I’ve privately referred to the holiday as Thanksgrieving, and may start calling it Thanks Taking, based on a workshop/discussion title I saw last week. I am also grateful for friends, family, and plenty and food and drink and wonderful company and projects running up to the holiday, but let’s not forget these atrocities.

This said, read on for how we celebrated with family and friends, what we cooked and ate, how we prepared it, and notes for future endeavors.

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What happens when Facebook goes down?

Answer: Then Twitter goes down, then Livejournal, then Blogger (briefly), then YouTube (briefly), then LinkedIn (briefer than Facebook and Twitter).

I think part of this is user migration, but probably a lot of it was that one of the big Content Data Networks (CDNs) may have gone down. I don’t have proof. I was watching with, which uses Twitter for some of its metrics, so I likely don’t have the complete picture. But I also know that my blogs (hosted on Dreamhost) were also down, so it was something vast enough that storage/operations on big and little were affected.

It also might have something to do with the death of Net Neutrality. But it’s hard to tell, given all these secret, private networks that all our traffic navigates.