After a particularly good talk with H, I have a lot to say. I want to break it down and talk about it in chunks both from the point of view of not knowing exactly how much energy I’ll have tonight to do it and also from the point of view of being able to manage any ensuing discussion.

First, let me talk about my posting, as a reminder for regular readers and for those who’ve missed previous discussion.

It’s true that when I post I usually post in response to what are current events for me.

For example, today I had a conversation with a co-worker about “reverse racism”, power, prejudice and politics. I also had a discussion on LJ with someone who made what I found a very problematic rhetorical gambit and who was defensive the whole time, and I had a very sexist discussion with 7 other guys from work at lunch (in which I participated a little in order to build my friendship/professional networking, but mostly tried to derail when I participated at all), and I made another flowchart and had some commentary discussion on this blog about the flowchart and how it works for some of my friends, and I had a good discussion with H about all of it on the way home from her picking me up.

So you can imagine that the gears in my head were turn-turn-turning, so I am left to talk about what I think.

The fact that what I write is derived from my day’s interactions does not mean that I am trying to take any single person to task for what they said or how they interacted with me. In fact, when I make a flowchart, or a post or describe a scene that sounds like I may be talking about you but I do not name you, then please don’t assume that I’m using some incredibly complicated abstract way to call you out or insult you.

In point of fact I have found that the most direct way to call someone out or insult them is to do it to them in person or by name, and please do assume that if I have a problem directly with you I will probably take it up personally with you.

If I don’t link to a discussion I had with you and I don’t vent directly about it, I probably am not thinking solely of you when I write about something that you think you might have had a hand in. And if I write a generic post, it’s probably because I think that the discussion will be useful to me and to other people who might come upon it in the future.

Generic posts and discussion are not meant as some incredibly complex way of passively/aggressively trying to make you feel badly for something you have done. I promise you that if I have a problem with you personally, you will know. And if I feel the need to vent about an interaction I had with you, I will either do it in public to your face or narrowly filter it down to folks I can trust not to gossip about it. I do retain the right to talk about you in private if I absolutely feel like a public venting would do no one any good, but I try to keep those instances rare in any case, and I hope you’ll trust me to try not to make it worse, whatever “it” is.

I hope that this is clear. If not, please feel free to ask.

Tags:   activism · context · isms · motivation · posting · ventingNo Comments