Okay, so maybe I should rename my blog to Angry Halfbreed Queer Chink or something.

When it comes down to it, after the anger or frustration subsides, what I’m left with is disappointment.

(I should note that I am trying to recover from a bout of food poisoning today, so if I sound/read a bit off, that would be why. Not wanting pity or excuses, just giving an explanation.)

What do we need to win? I mean win back the country. What do we need to take the political reins again from the Republicans/Conservatives who’ve had it for 8 years or longer now? We need coalitions. We need large voting blocs of folks who don’t feel like they need to watch their backs when they stand, politically, in civil rights demonstrations, in political action committees, in other groups and coalitions of folks with similar political goals. We need not only to say that we get along, but we need to truly get along, truly represent, truly get each other’s backs.

How, white people, are we going to build coalitions if we do not build bridges? (And when i say white people, I am talking to and about pretty much anyone who passes as “white” in our First World culture, and I think you know who you are, even if you don’t admit it, except perhaps my closest friends and allies who’ve demonstrated that same loyalty, patience and perseverance that I feel I have over the years)

I want to build coalitions and bridges with you (note: I am now speaking as a non-white, even though I am quite aware that I pass quite frequently as white or honorary white), and every time I think we’re almost there, another stupid thing happens. I mean the sort of stupid thing that has me questioning whether we really are clear on the concepts of entitlement and privilege and how they affect those of us lower on the totem pole than white people. Accompanied with my mild observation that something’s not right, I usually get a lesson in just how far white tolerance of my own fine self goes - apparently about as far as me opening my mouth to say something remotely critical.

I’m not just talking about the New Yorker cover, but about being unable to agree to disagree in a respectful manner that makes me feel like you actually get what my objection is to the latest piece of rhetoric. I want you to talk to me like I was white, not like I was an uppity mud person. I want that mutual respect that seems so thoughtless and reflexive when I see you do it with other white people when you pile onto me or onto my non-white friends and compatriots.

I also want to not have my friendship with you reevaluated just because I happened to say that I didn’t agree that your whiteness was spotless and sinless and when I said that we had more to talk about. Why does the simple act of dissent, when I apply it to you, turn me into a demon, but when you apply it to the white overlords, it turns you into a people’s hero? Is it really true that when these mud people really need is a White Person?

Have you thought about the reason that you haven’t heard from a lot of anti-racist activists and that you generally have to go find them if you want an opinion? Do you know why there are lots of closed LJ communities where non-white folks snark at you and your friends, but those same people only come out to give you unsolicited opinions on blue moons? Do you want to ask me how many conversations I’ve managed to have with unvetted white people (and even with acquaintance-level friends) about race that have not backfired and ended up with me being called militant, delusional or hostile? Go ahead. Ask me. I expect that with a little critical thinking you could come up the answers all by yourself, along with a theory on a causal relationship between the answer to the latter and the answer to the former questions.

I am here to say that there is a divide that goes beyond my simple, personal, individual tendency to get frustrated and hostile. You’ll find that the other non-white folks that don’t show up and don’t give you unsolicited opinions have simply given up even trying to talk about this shit with you years ago, and the reason that I’m still here talking (when I get up the gumption) is because of my near whiteness and how that reduces the frequency of my burnout opportunities. I simply haven’t been completely burned out yet.

Those of you still with me at this stage of the discussion, here are my pledges:

I promise that as your (barely non-white) friend, as your acquaintance, the worst I will ever do (or be able to do) to you in or around a conversation about race is:

• Get frustrated and sputter at you in outrage about something that you hardly even acknowledge happened.
• Ask you to reexamine your privilege and your exercise of entitlement related to it.
• Ask you to reach out again and build a bridge.

In contrast, think about the depths and depravity of what you could do to me, without doing more than saying a few words, either to me, or to the right listening ears of authority.

I think that’s pretty much all I need to say about the divide you can fix and that I can’t.

I’ll be here when you build that bridge.

Tags:   allies · anti-racism · bridge building · can we? · coalitions · race relations · yes we can1 Comment